Spiderman: Homecoming is my Favorite Spiderman Movie

The night is always darkest before the dawn. Truer words have never been spoken. 3 years have past since the darkness that is The Amazing Spiderman 2. Making it's poor use of Spidey's world fade into a distant dubstep memory. Now it is time for the dawn aka Spiderman: Homecoming to rise and save the web crawler from cinematic mediocrity. Marvel Studios and Sony Picture have co-authored the best Spiderman movie of all time. It could even be my personal favorite MCU movie. It has heart, charm, and humor in spades. Tom Holland (Captain America: CW) embodies a teenage Spiderman. He is now officially my favorite Spidey. The character has never shown his age before quite like this on screen. Spiderman: Homecoming much like Peter Parker's actual life feels like a high school comedy seamlessly mixed with a superhero blockbuster. The whole cast is terrific and director Jon Watts (Cop Car) deserves serious praise. Also can't believe how many references and easter eggs are in this film as well. If you love Spidey what are you doing reading this shit, go to see Spiderman: Homecoming right now.

P.S. One of the only flaws with the film was that this amazing scene wasn't adapted. SHOCKER!!!

Analyzing The Batman Franchise (Pt. 2 of 8) : Batman Returns (1992)

Batman Returns (1992)

Directed By: Tim Burton

Batman/Bruce Wayne: Michael Keaton

Love Interest: Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Played By: Michelle Pfeiffer)

Villains: The Penguin (Danny Devito), Catwoman (MP), and Max Schreck (Chris Walken)

Score: Danny Elfman

High Points:

• Michael Keaton's Batman was serviceable, but still killed people.
• Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman was dark, mesmerizing, and seductive. Make note that I said her "Catwoman" and not her Selina Kyle.
• The opening fight sequence against the Red Triangle Circus Gang was fun. (Even though Batman burned some poor bastard to death).
• Bo Welch took over the Art Direction from Anton Furst and brought us a beautiful Gotham Square during Christmas time. (There was no reason for this movie to be set during Christmas other than Gotham looks cool in the snow).
• I will outright say that I fucking love Danny Devito in whatever he is in, so I give him props here for at least trying. (Christopher Walken sure as hell didn't)
• The Penguin wore his monocle. (For like a second)
• Bruce calls Alfred out for being a dickhead when he let Vicki Vale in the Batcave in the last movie.
• I will also say I dug the Penguin for Mayor angle. (It just could have worked better with the comic book version of the character)
• The Masquerade dance sequence when Selina and Bruce discover each other's alternate identities was an emotional charged scene.
• Catwoman and Penguin do a good job framing Batman for the murder of the Ice Princess. (Then decide to do nothing with this leverage)
• The sexual tension between Batman and Catwoman was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

Favorite Line: "Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe you should retire." - Catwoman

Favorite Scene: The Bat, The Cat, and The Penguin finally meet; Batman fights Catwoman

Why?: Batman may all of a sudden forget how to fight, but that's probably becuase he was mesmerized by Michelle Pfieffer.

Low Points:

• Needless Biblical references: Penguin got thrown into river like Moses, then later on wanted to kill the first born sons of Gotham. He was also 33 years old in the movie like Jesus in the Bible. So if you are religious (I am not, but to each his own) this movie is try to tell you that the Penguin is the true God.
• Pfeiffer's Selina Kyle was underdeveloped and her transformation was totally unexplained. Were the cats that bit her fingers, magical street cats? I feel like you are more likely to get Hepatitis or herpes from street cats than superpowers.
• It felt like Batman was barely in his own film.
• Penguin's terrible plans were easily thwarted. There was no tension whatsoever.
• The only time any plan worked was when Penguin framed Batman for the murder of the Ice Princess, but less than 5 mins after that occurred it was resolved.
• What the fuck was leaking from the Penguin's mouth?
• Penguin gets the Tim Burton treatment. Instead of being a high brow criminal, he is turned in a deformed perverted freak, who wants to murder children.
• Batman stopped two of Penguin's schemes by jamming frequencies with Alfred. First he pumped in audio to destroy Penguin's mayoral run, then he jammed the signal that was guiding the penguin's with missiles. Batman really could have just stayed at home the whole movie if this was all it took to stop this chubby asshole. (Seriously Danny was a more menacing villain in Lethal Weapon 5).
• Hijacking the Batmobile had no rhyme or reasoning to it. Was Penguin trying to kill Batman? Or defame him further? Just made no sense.
• Max Shrek = Cliched greedy businessman played by Chris Walken, who really didn't give a shit.
• Once again Batman and Gordon's relationship is non-existent.

Worst Line: "My dear penguins, we stand on a great threshold! It's okay to be scared; many of you won't be coming back. Thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish *all* God's children! 1st, 2nd, 3rd *and* 4th-born! Why be biased? Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones blown sky high! Forward march! The liberation of Gotham has begun!" - The Penguin

Worst Scene: Penguin's pump up speech. 

Why?: It was the worst line for a reason. It was just such a ridiculous moment.

Verdict: Tim Burton won a lot of good will with Warners Bros because Batman (1989) was such a finical success. So with that good will came more creative freedom for Burton when he worked on Batman Returns (1992). And with that creative freedom came Tim Burton's version of the Penguin, an ugly, deformed, perverted, plump, aquatic bird boy freak. A total and complete departure from the character's comic book counterpart. As I said yesterday, Tim Burton loves his freaks. So because he didn't have another Joker to toy with, he turned the Penguin into one. Well actually Tim didn't do it alone, the screenwriter Daniel Waters (Heathers) can take some of the credit as well. Besides destroying my boy Ozzie, Water's script contained zero tension because all of the problems presented to Batman were easily resolved. For god sakes Penguin's plot to kill the firstborns, that he was working on the whole film, was stopped in two seconds. All we got to see his Batman's hands grab the train driver. But despite all those problems, I still love this movie for some reason. Could it be nostalgia, or because I had a boyhood crush on Michelle Pfieffer's Catwoman, or maybe it's because I have a massive Danny Devito bias? I don't know what it is, but I watch this movie every year around Christmas. Gotham just looks great in the snow you know? But at the end of the day I got to give this flick a reasonable rating, so Batman Returns gets a 6.5 out of 10. Danny Devito was born to play the Penguin, the real Penguin, not this fucking strange perverted version. 

Now here is a real villain!

Thanks for reading. Stayed tuned for an analysis of Batman Forever tomorrow. And make sure to follow us on Twitter @Caped_Informers or follow me @cstrand73 for all your comic book and Caped Informers news and stories.

Check out the rest of our look back at Batman's film history by clicking the link below.

Batman (1989)

More great are by Francesco Francavilla

Analyzing The Batman Movie Franchise (Pt. 1 of 8): Batman (1989)

Batman is hands down my favorite fictional character ever. The Bat ignites passion from many different kinds of people. Because of this his movie franchise has been hugely popular, but as with any series of films there have been highs and there have been lows (I'm looking at you, Joel). So with Batman's 75th anniversary year coming to a close later this month, I thought this would be a good time to re-examine Batman's film history. The game plan is to look over each of the seven Bat-films over the next seven days. Then end with an massive overview that includes a look at the future of Batman in film (B V S and Justice League). So without any further ado, let's get started.

Batman (1989) 

Directed By: Tim Burton

Batman/Bruce Wayne: Michael Keaton

Love Interest: Vicki Vale (Played By: Kim Basinger)

Villain: The Joker/Jack Napier (Played By: The Great Jack Nicholson) 

Score: Danny Elfman

High Points: 

• Not enough can be said for how this film took on a dark tone that veered the general audience away from thinking of Batman as campy like the Adam West days (Even those are fun and they have their place in Batman's history). 
• Tim Burton's Gotham was beautifully realized by Art director Anton Furst. The sets were how I had always envisioned Batman's hometown. (Even though the film was shot on a sound stage).
• Anton Furst's Bat-mobile and Bat-Wing were glorious
• Jack Nicholson's The Joker was both comical and devilishly dark. He was the main highlight of this entire film. 
• Michael Keaton did well with what he was given.
• Prince!
• "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
• Danny Elfman's Batman March was/is still iconic
• Billy Dee Williams (LANDO CALRISSIAN!!) was DA Harvey Dent
• Batman did some detective work (Finding the poisonous Joker products)
• Batman got laid (Doesn't feel like that happens often)

Favorite Line: "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" - The Joker

Favorite Scenes: The Birth of The Joker and his murder of Carl Grissom

Why?: Holding off showing Joker's transformation was a brilliant move. It made his reveal when he killed Carl Grissom that much cooler.

Low Points:

• Batman killed people. He blew up a factory of Joker's Henchmen and later killed the Joker himself. All this was unlike the modern Batman and much more like the very beginning of The Dark Knight in 1939.
• Making The Joker the killer of Bruce Wayne's parents was an unneeded tweak to both character's origins.
• Kim Basinger's Vicki Vale and Robert Wuhl's (made-up fairy-tale character) Alexander Knox were largely forgettable.
• Batman was largely reactive and the only time he really helped was when he foiled the Joker's poisoned products scheme and when he kind of got rid of the Laugh-X filled balloons.
• Pat Hingle's Gordon was a goddamn joke whose relationship with Batman was nonexistent.
• I'm never a fan of giving the Joker an origin (besides knowing he fell in the vat at ACE Chemicals)
• Michael Gough's Alfred is a damn ballbuster/cockblock. First he didn't cover for Bruce when he lied to Vicki Vale about leaving town, then later on Alfred actually brought Vicki to the Batcave and revealed Bruce's secret identity without permission. What the fuck Alfred? I thought you were here to help?

Worst Line: "You wanna get nuts?" - Bruce Wayne

Worst Scene: Alfred letting Vicki Vale into the Batcave

Why?: Seriously Alfred would never do this. Such a dick move.

Verdict: This was the one that started it all. It's importance to Bat-franchise cannot be overlooked. Tim Burton's art-deco film style matched Batman's dark outlook, but it seemed Burton was never truly interested in Bruce Wayne or Batman, but just the Joker. Timmy has always preferred his lead characters be weirdoes/freaks (or Johnny Depp being a freak). He has stated that he didn't read comic books and it showed in his iteration (with Batman offing fuckers left and right). With that said Jack Nicholson's Joker was the highlight of the film. He was funny, scary, and homicidal all rolled into one. He was just fun to watch whenever he was on screen. So overall Batman (1989) gets a 7.5 out of 10. An enjoyable film that brought Batman away from the campiness of the 60's, but didn't stick much to any comic book lore.

Thanks for reading. Stayed tuned for an analysis of Batman Returns tomorrow. And make sure to follow us on Twitter @Caped_Informers or follow me @cstrand73 for all your comic book and Caped Informers news and stories.

Art By: Francesco Francavilla (Batman: The Black Mirror)