My Dream Star Wars Spinoff: Turn Down For Hutt

Star Wars: Turn Down For Hutt

Release Date: In A Cinema Not Too Far Away

Tagline: His Dad was killed by a dirty slut, now she will feel the wrath of the greatest Hutt

Plot Synopsis: 30 years ago the galaxy far far away's greatest citizen, Jabba the Hutt, was heinously and unjustly murdered. After years of attempts to get justice through the court system to no avail, Jabba's son, Rotta, has decided to take matters into his own stubby hands. His plan: To exact vegenance on the woman who committed the deed, Princess Leia! But Rotta's plan isn't simply going to kill Leia; He is going to takeaway everything she loves first. Armed with a Jaeger, a recent mastery of the English language, and his trusty sidekick Boba Fett, Rotta is gonna teach the Rebel Alliance that they don't call him "The Pedunkee Mufkin" for nothing.

Climax: After years of training to become drift compatible with one another, Rotta and Boba, take on the Rebel army with their Jaeger named "Naughty Schnapps". Making their way through Rebel forces, the two come upon the Millennium Falcon. When all of a sudden a gigantic wookie emerges from the ocean. Chewie has been super-sized into a Kajui. The final battle to board the Millennium Falcon to finish Rotta's revenge begins.

The Twist: Standing over Han's corpse, Leia attempts to tell Rotta the "truth". That she and Jabba had an affair years prior to his murder which resulted in Rotta's birth. "I am your mother." she says. Rotta replies "My name is Rotta the Hutt, you killed my father, prepare to die!" then he blows off Leia's head, but no blood comes out. Instead it is revealed that this body was an android, like the one from Alien, made to look like the real Leia. All of a sudden the real Leia surrounding by ewoks appears on a screen above our heroes and taunts Rotta. Boba Fett turns to Rotta says "Set course for the forest moon of Endor." Roll Credits. This sets up the sequel Star Wars: Hutting Season.

Directed and Written By: Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction)

Quentin Tarantino loves complicated characters and fun dialogue. Now add on top that this story allows him to shift the entire Star Wars' paradigm. The Rebel's are now the enemy. Han and Leia are now the bad guys. Tarantino would love to be the guy, who flipped the Star Wars universe on his its head.

Cast

Rotta the Hutt - Jonah Hill (22 Jump St.)

Quentin Tarantino has briefly worked with Jonah Hill before on Django Unchained. The two clearly had chemistry and have since wished to work on another project together. It's the perfect storm for both men since Tarantino loves revenge stories and Jonah Hill is looking for another meaty role that could earn him his third Oscar nomination. He could garner the first Oscar nomination for a mo-caption performance. After seeing Rotta, people will forget all about that lameass Andy Serkis.

Boba Fett - Jon Bernthal (Fury)

Fuck continuity, I want a good actor under the hood. Bernthal is a great actor. He has a knack for playing characters who are rough around the edges and would add an extra boost to Boba's badassery. Boba may not have been able to avenge his father by killing Mace Windu, but Han Solo's head would make a mighty fine prize on his mantle. Not to mention Rotta is paying him with some mad pod-racing money.

Han Solo - Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones)

There is no one else, but Harrison to play Han. He made his career off the gig and he can finish it with one final go around, but this time as the bad guy. 

Princess Leia - Carrie Fisher (Jay + Silent Bob Strike Back)

Carrie and Harrison are a pair and I'm not gonna be the one to break them up. The chemistry between the two is there and they could be the best villainous duo since Bonnie and Clyde.

Song for the First Trailer: Lit- My Own Worst Enemy

Thanks for reading! Happy April Fools! Do you think Rotta the Hutt has a legitimate vendetta? Would you like to see Pacific Rim and Alien mixed with Star Wars? Let us know in the comments or tweet at us @Caped_Informers or me @cstrand73. And make sure to tune in for our weekly Arrow and Flash reviews. The real Star Wars spinoff Star Wars: Rogue One begins filming soon and will hit theaters in late 2016.

Maybe I should have cast Hung Solo

P.S. Andy Serkis is a god to me.

2nd Annual Capey TV Nominations!

The 2nd Annual Capeys:

TV Nominations

As I said yesterday the Capey's are now divided into 3 separate categories: Movies, TV, and Comic Books. Today the boob tube gets it's due. Comic book TV shows have taken over everyone's DVR schedules this year. Whether it's old favorites like Arrow and The Walking Dead or newbies like The Flash and Gotham everyone is watching something comic related. So with so many shows, expect the winners to have fought vicious battles in order to come out the victor. People saying winning a Capey means you have really made it. So get in the spirit of Award season by voting for your favorite show in the comments section or on Twitter. Good luck to all the candidates.

Time to reveal the nominees!

Comic TV Show Of The Year

Arrow (CW)

Gotham (Fox)

The Flash (CW)

Agents Of S.H.E.L.D. (ABC)

Constantine (NBC)

The Walking Dead (AMC)

Best Sci-fi/Fantasy Show

Supernatural (CW)

Game of Thrones (HBO)

Orphan Black (BBC)

Sherlock (BBC)

Black Mirror (BBC)

Best Lead

Oliver Queen/Arrow (Steve Amell)

Barry Allen/The Flash (Grant Gustin)

Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg)

Jim Gordon (Ben Mckenzie)

John Constantine (Matt Ryan)

Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln)

Best Supporting

Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus)

Felicity Smoak (Emily Bett Rickards)

Harrison Wells (Tom Cavanaugh)

Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue)

Skye "Daisy" Johnson (Chloe Bennet)

Best Villain

Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor)

Slade Wilson/Deathstroke (Manu Bennett)

Lenard Snart/Captain Cold (Wentworth Miller)

Those Terminus Pussies

Reverse Flash (Yet To Be Revealed)

Best Episode of 2014

Unthinkable (Arrow)

Man in The Yellow Suit (The Flash)

The Grove (The Walking Dead)

Turn, Turn, Turn (Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Flash vs. Arrow (The Flash)

Best Animated Show

Ultimate Spiderman (Disney XD)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Nickelodeon)

Beware the Batman (Cartoon Network)

Teen Titans Go! (Cartoon Network)

Star Wars Rebels (Disney XD)

The Worst of the Worst (The Gotham Award)*

Fish Mooney

Edward Nygma's Terrible Riddles

Destroying The Rogue's Gallery

Barbara Kean's Infidelity/Annoyingness

The Spirit of the Goat (Worst Episode of TV ever)

Most Exciting Future Show

Supergirl (CBS)

Daredevil (Netflix)

Krypton (Syfy)

Titans (TNT)

The Atom (CW)

What Deserves A Show

Moon Knight

Green Lantern

Suicide Squad

Nightwing

The Punisher

The awards will be given out on our podcast later this week. Thanks for reading and congratulations to all the nominees. Tweet at @Caped_Informers or tweet me @cstrand73 to tell us who should win what or sound off in the comments.

*Our apologies if you love Gotham, it's just not our cup of tea. So be prepared for us shitting on it in our podcast. Because truly we have nothing better to do and Gotham sucks.

UPDATE!: As I wrote this Gotham got renewed for it's second season. In short fuck me.

What commonly happens after you win a Capey

This blog is getting sexual and I love it

The Walking Dead "Self Help" Review

This week instead of slumming it with Beth we get to hang out with Abraham and his crew on a all new The Walking Dead. (MILD SPOILERS!!)

Synopsis: Abraham was intent on leaving the church to head to D.C., and it looks like he encounters trouble along the way. Glenn doesn't appear to be in top form either. The group will have to push through to survive the challenges they face and each other.

High Points

• Finally a focus on Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene
• Flashbacks to Abraham's past
• Intense look at walker killing from Eugene's POV
• Some Cable Nudity (SEX!)
• Eugene is a perv and no one is surprises
• Zombies are really bad at wet t-shirt contests
• The truth comes out
• Great performances from Cudlitz (Abraham) and McDermitt (Eugene)
• Fantastic comic book parallels

Abraham is no Keanu Reeves

Low Points

• A slug would make it to DC faster than "The Group" will
• The scenes at night were so dark that it was hard to see what was happening
• Kind of slow

Verdict: Abraham and his crew have been on The Walking Dead for almost a full season  now. They have had very little focus upon who they are or how they came to join Rick's group. So it was great that this week saw that crew so well represented. Abraham's personality and history are spot on with his comic counterparts as are Eugene and Rosita's characterizations. With the focus upon them this was really an emotional episode for Abraham. The ep did a fantastic job at splicing in Abraham's flashbacks into the current story to make the biggest emotional jab land beautifully. Reminded me a lot of Michonne's flashback episode last season. Overall I give "Self Help" a 8.0 out of 10. It didn't move the story along a lot, but it did drop one long awaited comic book bombshell. Also had SEX!

Gotta love Cable

The Walking Dead "Slabtown" Review

Beth chills out at a hospital and hums in a brand new The Walking Dead. (SPOILERS!)

High Points

• Everybody Hates Chris! (Actor Tyler James Williams as Noah)
• Amputations are fun
• Beth helps kill that shithead cop Gorman
• Short but enjoyable Walker kill montage
• Noah crawled through a river of shit, but didn't come out clean on the other side.

The way you feel when you realize it's an all Beth episode.

Low Points

• Everybody Hates Beth! (All the characters you like are not here this week!)
• Oral sex must be reciprocated at this "hospital" (Give a favor show gratitude, it's only fair)
• Extremely slow pacing
• Power structure in hospital sucks
• Obligatory Jesus reference to justify actions (I gotta start doing that)
• This storyline for some reason is not over

Verdict: Can someone explain to me how Beth got her own episode? I have no personal vendetta against Emily Kinney, the actress who plays Beth, but she must have blackmail on or nude photos of show runners Scott Gimple and Robert Kirkman because there is no other reason that her character could get an entire episode dedicated to her story. That being said "Slabtown" could have been worse (At least she didn't sing, right?). Beth woke up in a strange hospital with a strange power structure and met some new shitty people and one cool dude (Noah!). The set up allowed for Beth to showcase that she has become resourceful and a good shot (cause every character must be a certified badass I guess). Now the main problem I had was this ep. was that it was filler.  It did noting to advance the storyline about going to DC. At least the final moment offered at least a semi-interesting wrinkle to Beth's tale though. But still I hope that this side story will be all wrapped up next week. Overall "Slabtown" is by far this season's weakest offering and gets a 6 out of 10. Like I said before, could have been worse.

That elevator made me miss "Well Zombie"

The Greater Good!: Want to watch a much better version of this story? Watch Hot Fuzz. Clip contains SPOILERS!.

The Walking Dead "Four Walls And A Roof" Review

The Terminus crew has a BBQ while Rick and Abraham battle over the group's next move on this week's The Walking Dead. SPOILERS!!!!

Synopsis: Rick and the group find themselves pitted against some very nasty people, but our group might just have a plan to gain the upper hand.

High Points

• Women taste better
• Gareth is a real sick prick
• Stokes' backstory revealed
• Abraham and Rick butt heads
• The Crew is away when Terminus attacks
• "We didn't want to waste the bullets"
• Michonne has her katana back
• Some of the group heads for DC (FINALLY!)
• No Beth!

Daryl was only in the episode.

Low Points

• Why is Tyrese always put on baby-sitting duty?
• Rogue Cannibal Terminus crew is done away with quickly
• Rick and the crew arriving just in time was predictable

Verdict: Season 5 of The Walking Dead  has really impressed me thus far, that being said this episode was the weakest entry. It was slow paced and pretty predictable for the most part. But it certainly was not all bad. Father Gabriel's backstory was revealed and some more iconic imagery from the comic was glimpsed at. And as for Gareth and his cannibal crew, they continued to display how depraved the people of Terminus had become. Their crew eating Bob's leg while looking him straight in the face as though it was a casual BBQ was creepy. Luckily though Rick's gang got their payback. The way it went down was predictable yet satisfying. I loved seeing those Terminus freaks get beat to death. Now half the crew is off to DC. Hopefully the half other leaves soon. Overall I'm giving "Four Walls And A Roof" a 7.5 out of 10. A predictable, but enjoyable affair.

WHO TOOK BETH? Seriously who gives a shit. I hoped that Terminus took her and they would reveal that Gareth's mom was cooking Beth burgers at the end of last season, but no. Now we have to watch an entire episode centered around Beth. The character that no one cared about when she was taken. And from what happened in the end of tonight's episode it seems that we might have lost Carol because she was trying to help save this useless character. We can't be losing kickass people like Carol to keep shitty people like Beth around. Rick and his entire crew should be on the way to DC by now. Instead they are gonna try to save the girl who won't stop singing. I don't even know if I can watch next week now. Sometimes I wish The Governor cut of Beth's head instead of Hershel's. (Ends rant) On a more positive Rick's saying "We didn't want to waste the bullets" was the funniest and most badass line of the season thus far.

The Walking Dead "Strangers" Review/Thoughts

Rick and the crew encounter a priest and go on a mission for supplies in a brand new The Walking Dead. MILD SPOILERS!

Synopsis: “With supplies running low and not knowing whether to trust the people around them, Rick leads a mission where the risk might not be worth the reward.”

High Points

• Intro to Father Stokes perfectly portrayed by Seth Gilliam
• Papa Ty!
• Water fight
• Anytime Michonne speaks
• Abraham's speech/ Judith is in
• Daryl and Carol on the case
• Sucks to be Bob (Never Fall In Love in the Apocalypse)

If only that was the case

Low Points

• Back to lots of walking and talking
• Much slower pace than last week
• Rick again reiterating "You are never safe"

Verdict: This week's episode "Strangers" was written by The Walking Dead comic creator Robert Kirkman. So it should come as no surprise that it incorporated more storylines from the actual comic books than in any other episode in recent memory. Seth Gilliam's Father Stokes was excellently played and his portrayal mirrors that of his comic book counterpart. His back story will most likely be revealed in the upcoming weeks and if the clues revealed so far are any indication, his backstory will also be faithful to the source material. I always appreciate actual nods and scenes straight from the comics and tonight had a moment I had been waiting for some time (Sorry Bob). Besides the slower pace and another heavy handed Rick "You are never safe" speech to Carl, this was a great episode. Overall "Strangers" gets a 8.0 out of 10. Season 5 continues to be a pleasant surprise.

Thanks for reading. What did you think of The Walking Dead's 2nd episode? Sound off in the comments. Make sure to check out our reviews every week and follow our live action tweeting of every episode @Caped_Informers and @cstrand73. See you next week folks!

The Walking Dead "No Sanctuary" Review/Thoughts

The escape from Teminus is on in The Walking Dead's Season 5 premiere. SPOILERS!

High Points

• CANNIBALS FINALLY!!!
• Terminus Meat room was fucked 
• Commando Carol
• Zombie Fireworks
• Moral conflict presented by hostage
• Exciting action and gore
• You are the butcher or you are the cattle
• Judith becomes the hostage
• Tyrese unleashes his beast mode
• Eugene and Abraham are spot on
• The gang's emotional reunion
• Robin Lord Taylor  (Penguin) throat slit
• No Beth and no singing
• MORGAN REVEAL!

Being a pledge sucks. #Clench

Low Points

• Freeing "We are the same!" Jesus Guy (Heavy Handed)
• Confusing time jumps
• Not enough Michonne or Daryl
• Quickly back to status quo

Verdict: 5 seasons in and I have finally accepted that The Walking Dead may never truly follow the comics. That being said I extremely enjoyed this premiere episode of the zombie survival series. The escape from Terminus brought tension, action, gore, and even fireworks. This show is at it's best when the group is in conflict with other humans because those situations bring up the moral dilemmas of living in a zombie ridden world. Particularly the scenes between the Terminus hostage and Tyrese were quite compelling. Can you be a good person in a world that consistently calls for extreme action? In this single case yes, but that is the ever lingering of the show and it was on full display in those scenes. Carol's character has really grown on me and her helping the group escape was exciting and a perfect bridge to bring her back in the fold. I'm happy to be rid of Terminus this quick, but fear it will lead to more "just walking around". Screw the "walking around" status quo let the story move on to the trip to Washington DC. Overall I give the premiere episode 8.5 out of 10. Great episode and start to the season.

Thanks for reading. What did you think of The Walking Dead's premiere episode? Sound off in the comments. Make sure to check out our reviews every week and follow our live action tweeting of every episode @Caped_Informers and @cstrand73. See you next week folks!

Rick Grimes' "CARL" Counter: Sadly Rick only said Carl one time. But at least there was no Beth!

Walking Dead Adds Seth Gilliam for Season 5

The Wrap and other media outlets have reported that actor Seth Gilliam (The Wire) has signed on as a regular for The Walking Dead's 5th season. No one knows whom Gilliam will be playing yet. Maybe he is another traveler trapped in Terminus. Just waiting to be eaten by cannibals like Rick and the rest of the crew. Or maybe he is an actual character from the comics. That would be nice. Well whoever he is playing he better have a cool niche weapon. We haven't had one of those in a while. RIP Merle. The Walking Dead returns this October.

Read more: The Wrap

THE 1ST ANNUAL CAPEYS AWARDS!

You can see the results on the blog, but hear the arguments and reasoning behind the choices. Congrats to all our winners, who will be forever immortalized on our blog page. A great honor indeed. Congratulations to the nominees as well, ya'll earned it. Part 1 of 2.  (Recorded 3/1/14)

Follow us on twitter: @Caped_Informers

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For: The Results For the 2013 Capey Awards!

This is it folks. The votes are in. The ceremonies have been had. Tears and blood have been shed. But at long last, after a week of aggressive debating and collaborating, this year's Capey winners have emerged from the rest of the pack. So without further ado, here are the highly anticipated results. For an in-depth explanation behind the winning choices, be sure to check out the latest Caped Informers podcast that will be on the blog later today.

And the winners are:

Movie Categories

Comic Book Movie of the Year:
Man of Steel

Best Actor
Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)

Best Actress
Chloe Grace-Mortez (Hit-girl)

Best Supporting Actor
Michael Shannon (General Zod)

Best Supporting Actress
Antje Traue (Faora) 

Best Director
Zach Snyder (Man of Steel)

Best Fight Scene
Superman vs. Faora and Tor-An in Smallville (Man of Steel)

Best WTF Moment 
The Mandarin Reveal (Iron Man 3)

Best Sexually Charged Moment
Aldrin Killian meeting Tony Stark and then getting stood up (Iron Man 3)

Why Are You in This Movie? Award 
Trevor Slattery (Sir Ben Kingsley in Iron Man 3)



TV Show Categories

Best Comic Book TV Show
Arrow (CW)

Best TV Actor
Norman Reedus (Daryl in the Walking Dead)

Best TV Actress
Emily Bett-Rickards (Felicity in Arrow)

The I"'m Glad They're Gone" Award
Tommy Merlyn (Arrow)



Comic Book Categories

Best Comic Run of 2013
Green Arrow 

Best Writer 
Scott Snyder (Batman, The Wake, etc.)

Best Artist 
Andrea Sorrentino (Green Arrow)



Misc. Award Categories

Best Animated Movie
The Dark Knight Returns pt.2

Best Announcement 
The Batman/Superman Movie

Congrats to all of this years winners! And best of luck to all of the potential nominees that will be showing us what they got during the upcoming year!

Announcing the 1st Annual Capey Nominations!

Its that time of year, Awards season! So with the Oscars happening this upcoming Sunday, the Caped Informers got together and decided to spread some award love as well. Below is a list of categories and nominations for 2013 comic movies and TV. The Informers will present the winners on their special Saturday Podcast that will be entitled "THE CAPEYS". They say to win a Capey is like knowing what heaven is really like. They also say to not win a Capey is like having Uma Thurman pull one's eye from their skull. Good luck to all the nominees! And may the odds ever be in your favor!

Movie Of the Year                                                  
Iron Man 3
Kick Ass 2
Man of Steel
Thor: The Dark World
The Wolverine

Best Actor (Movie)
Iron Man (RDJ)
Thor (Chris Hemsworth)
Kick Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson)
Superman (Henry Cavill)
Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)

Best Actress (Movie)
Lois Lane (Amy Adams)
Jane Foster (Natalie Portman)
Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace-Mortez)
Pepper Potts (Gweneth Paltrow)
Mariko Yashida (Tao Okamoto)

Best Supporting Character (Male)
Zod (Michael Shannon)
Loki (Tom Hiddleston)
Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey)
Aldrin Killian (Guy Pearce)

Best Supporting Character (Female)
Yukio (Rila Fukushima)
Lady Sif (Jamie Alexander)
Martha Kent (Diane Lane)
Faora (Antje Traue)

Best Director
Zach Snyder (MOS)
Shane Black (Iron Man 3)
Alan Taylor (Thor: TDW)
James Mangold (The Wolverine)

Best Fight
Zod vs. Superman vs. Metropolis
Hit-Girl vs. Mother Russia
Wolverine on the Train
Superman vs. Faora in Smallvile
Thor vs. Malekith

Best WTF Moment
The Mandarin Reveal (Iron Man 3)
Superman snapping Zod's Neck (MOS)
Thor taking the Train (Thor: TWD)
That lizard chick ripping of her own face (The Wolverine)

Best Sexually Charge Moment
Superman heat blasting Lois's wound (MOS)
Kick Ass and Night Bitch in a Bathroom stall (Kick Ass 2)
Geeky Aldrin Killian meeting Tony Stark and then getting stood up (Iron Man 3)

Why R U in this Movie?
Darcy (Kat Dennings)
Trevor Slattery (Sir Ben Kingsley)
Aldrin Killian (Guy Pearce)
Ginger Guy at I Hop (Pete Ross)

Best Comic TV Show
Arrow
Agents of Shield
The Walking Dead

Best TV Actor
Steve Amell (Arrow)
Norman Reedus (The Walking Dead)
Clark Gregg (AoS)
Jensen Ackles (Supernatural)

Best TV Actress
Lauren Cohan (The Walking Dead)
Katie Cassidy (Arrow)
Emily Bett-Rickards (Arrow)
Ming-Na Wen (AoS)

I'm Glad They Are Gone
Tommy Merlyn (Arrow)
Hershel Green (The Walking Dead)
The Governer (The Walking Dead)
Andrea (The Walking Dead)

Best Animated Movie
The Dark Knight Returns Part 2
Flashpoint Paradox
Hulk and Iron Man

Best Announcement
Batman vs. Superman Movie
Ultron the villain in Avengers 2
Ben Affleck as Batman
Flash Spinoff
Marvel-Netflix TV Deal

Those are the nominees. All week we will debate and fight over who wins. The victors will emerge this Saturday 3/1/14. Also expect our Oscar picks as well. It's a jam packed weekend of Caped goodies. Who do you think should win? Have any fun category ideas? Post them in the comments section.

The Walking Dead "Claimed" Thoughts (Mild Spoilers)

The Walking Dead's 11th episode "Claimed" was definitely the show's best since it's epic midseason finale in which we saw the fall of The Governor. We finally get to me the foul mouthed Sgt. Abraham Ford and his companions Rosita and Eugene. Carl and Michonne got closer in a creepy house and Rick hid under a bed. All in all, it was a great episode here are some quick thoughts.

• Great to see Michonne open up to someone, especially since she is attempting to help Carl.

• The house that Michonne and Carl were gathering supplies from had some the worst paintings that I have ever seen. I mean serious who hangs paintings of an apple, a sunflower, and two bunnies on their walls? Nutjobs and Dan Lee that's who.

• Abraham tells Glen and Tara what he and his partners are up too. Here's hoping they meet up with the rest of the group and follow Abraham's plan.

• Can't wait for a Daryl and Abraham team up against a bunch of walkers. Brains flying left and right. Best from the show with the best from the comics.

• What was the guy doing in the bathroom before Rick strangled him? He was sitting on a closed toilet. I guess he didn't want to have to strangle someone in order to find a bed to sleep on.

• Rosita played by the lovely Christian Serratos once again proves everyone named Christian is beautiful. She has come a long way from being apple of Ned Bigby's eye on Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. 

•  Rick hiding under the bed while someone was being murdered, reminded me of Lucy Liu's story from Kill Bill Vol 1. Except they was no blood, and it wasn't animated, and wasn't Rick's parents being murdered. Actually nevermind.

• WHERE WAS DARYL?!

Overall, I give this episode an  8.5/10, for a good mix of action and characterization, along with a heavy dose of Abraham. Next episode Sunday at 9 pm on AMC.